// It’s kind of a funny story//
I just spent 5 days at New Perspectives, and it had to be one of the best experiences of my life. That’s right, even compared to Disney world. It was even better!
I was suicidal, depressed, and anxiety ridden with the smallest self esteem you could imagine. I decided to check myself into the hospital, and i got sent tho this “little home” as my best friend called it. New perspectives.
I learned so much, and i met my newest best friend Casey Myszkowski. I realized so many things i never new before. Such as the fact that depression worsens greatly when (if your a female) your cycle starts and your hormones go crazy (which that means there is like no time that your hormones are normal, because three weeks out of four in a month is your cycle, and your hormones can’t straighten themselves in one week.) I also learned that “it’s the little things in life” that make a HUGE difference. like taking a shower everyday, brushing your teeth, being on a set schedule for things. That there really are a lot of people who understand how i feel, i’m never alone. All of my friends (and some family) really care. And taking medicine does NOT mean you are crazy. And SO SO SO much more.
I guess i can say the the last five days of my life, made an enormous impact on me.
I am coming out Loving life, Happy, calm, and i have a much better self esteem.
I feel amazing!!!
won’t be on here for awhile :/
// stay positive??//
I’m trying to stay positive her. this is going to “help me”. Maybe i’ll get lucky and i’ll have a good time, like in “it’s kind of a funny story”…..
// ugh…//
feeling like i want to crawl in a hole, and never come out.
feeling like i just want everyone to forget about me.
feeling like i just kinda wanna die…
// :’///
I hate feeling like the one person i always rely on is annoyed by me…
i hate feeling like my existance is an annoyance to the world…
// Well…//
Well so much for thinking i was finally going to be happy.
Story of my life. i guess im just unwanted all the way around.
I wish i could just change things…i wish i could make myself einstien, so maybe i’d actually graduate…
I wish i could move out so i didn’t have to feel like i want to run away all the time…
My life has turned into nothing but wishing…
And yet one of the biggest one is still wishing to be with her…
// This Feeling.<3//
This feeling. Can I even describe it?
When I look at her, I lose my breath. When she’s sweet to me, my heart beats fast. When I’m not talking to her, I’m thinking about her. She never leaves my mind. When I think about holding her hand, I think about how I’ll never want to let go. When I think about kissing her, I get butterflies you can’t imagine. I just want to be with her. She’s all I need to make me happy.
I can’t wait to call her mine<3
He told me he hopes I can find a guy willing to put up with my shit.
I told I didn’t need another guy.
And I was being truthful, whether he believed it or not.
I found a girl and I couldn’t be better.
She said that^(bold italics) about me….my heart skipped a beat…i love her so much <3
